The Real World Saiyuki Style
by wabbit sox
Summary: What happens when Seven Saiyuki characters are trapped in a house for ten weeks? Chaos, attempted murder, practical jokes, and kinky hot tub sex, that’s what. Slash, multiple pairings, and AU


Summary: What happens when Seven Saiyuki characters are trapped in a house for ten weeks? Chaos, attempted murder, practical jokes, and kinky hot tub sex, that's what.

Warnings: Much insanity, slash, and multiple pairings. If any of this upsets you…go away your boring (but still special and sane).

The MTV production office (Now owned by the Gaggle twins.)

"Muahahaha, we have finally conquered MTV!" A blonde man with a huge set of pearly white teeth said with a grin. Jacob and Jack Gaggle sat at the head of their wooden meeting table. Their young also blonde secretary, Ms. Klondike stood reporting to them on their networks success.

"Sir in order to keep ratings up we'll need to start a new show."

The twins exchanged a glance and shook their heads. "Nah, to much imagination, we need something simple and repetitive…preferably involving crazy people stuck together."

Ms. Klondike thought for a moment before responding, "Well we could start the next season of real world a little early…"

"Excellent! Do we have any applications for it?" Jack asked.

"Er…well most people look surprisingly normal so far…" Ms. Klondike sighed.

"Oh dear, what shall we do?" Jacob lamented.

"Well there was one rather odd application. One man offered an entire team of seven and he assured us they were extremely dysfunctional."

"One man? Does he have a death wish or something? He can't apply for others." Jacob growled.

"His name is Cho Hakkai, he promises a very interesting season, and he's also got written consent from each of the participants."

"Any hotties?" Jack asked.

"Well….take a look for yourself." She handed her bosses the picture of the sanzo party, posing, and looking fairly functional. By the time she got the picture back it was completely soaked with her extremely gay managers' drool.

XoXoXoXoXo

"Damn it Hakkai! I didn't agree to participate in any freaky reality tv show!" Gojyo growled angrily. The red head was flopped on the couch, feet on the messy stained coffee table and dressed in sloppy jeans and an offensive t-shirt.

"Ah, actually you did." Hakkai said with a smile, holding up Gojyo's signature.

"You got me drunk!"

Hakkai just smiled.

"You'd better have a damn good reason for this Hakkai." Sanzo hissed. The monk was dressed in jeans and a loose turtle neck, and his violet eyes were lit with such anger it nearly made Hakkai loose his cool.

"We need money." Hakkai shrugged. "And god knows we can't stay in this pigsty." He gestured to the small New York apartment the four men shared. The floor was stained with pizza, beer, coke, and scattered with cigarette butts. It was covered with old clothes and dirty plates. Their crappy television could only play videos because the cable was cancelled.

Sanzo and Gojyo looked at the room and sheepishly couldn't help agreeing with Hakkai. "Fine," Sanzo admitted. "Something needs to change, but those reality shows don't pay us."

"Well I worked out a little deal," Hakkai shrugged with a mischievous smirk. "I've got your bags all packed, we're moving into the house today."

"What!" The other two men yelled in unison.

"You heard me." The brunette chided.

"But whatta "bout Goku!" Gojyo sputtered.

"I took care of him, Yaone's going to take care of him and Lirin." Hakkai said cheerfully. He sauntered over to the door and glanced over his shoulder at Gojyo and Sanzo. "The house is in Philadelphia so we've got to take a bus."

"How'd you get Yaone to agree to take care of two hyperactive brats." Sanzo snarled. Never the less the monk hauled himself off the couch and kicked Gojyo until the red head stood up as well.

"Hakkai promised her sex, obviously." Gojyo snickered. Sanzo smacked him on the head with his fan. "Ow! Well if it wasn't sex then what was it?"

"Actually just money and a date." The green eyed man laughed.

"I really hate you right now Hakkai." Gojyo dead panned. Snazo snarled in agreement.

Hakkai kept on grinning, _wait till they find out who they're sharing a house with…then they really are going to hate me. _

XoXoXoXo

The next day Hakkai, Sanzo, and Gojyo's van pulled up in front of a huge house. On the side walk around the house was a plethora of security guards and four all too familiar figures. Standing there was Kougaiji, glaring violently at Dokugakuji, who was in return glaring at Nii, who was toying with his stuffed rabbit, who was in turn being watched by a very interested Homura.

"What the hell are they doing here?" Sanzo snarled.

"Oh…did I forget to mention?" Hakkai laughed nervously, "They're our new room mates…"

"No hot chicks!" Gojyo yelled.

"Ahah…there's some very nice clubs in this area though." Hakkai chuckled weakly, glancing nervously at Sanzo.

"I'm not doing it," the monk snarled. "I refuse to degrade myself to this!"

"I already signed your contract,"

Sanzo grabbed a fistful of Hakkai's shirt. "I never thought I'd say this to you, Hakkai, but I'm going to kill you!"

Hakkai widened his eyes and let a few sparkling tears gather in his large emerald orbs. "Sanzo," he pouted. His pink lips quivered. "Please? I promise I'll buy you booze…"

"Stop looking at me like that!" The blond snarled.

"Sanzo," Hakkai pouted.

"Hakkai!" Sanzo growled, "Stop it with the bambi eyes."

"Please?" The brunette sniffled.

Sanzo growled in disgust and dropped the other mans' shirt. "You bastard, you'd better buy me booze."

"Of course, sanzo!" Hakkai said cheerily. He pondered hugging Sanzo, but decided not to press his luck. "Gojyo will this arrangement work for you?" Hakkai twirled to look at the red head who glared at their new roommates with distaste.

"No hot chicks."

"We'll go clubbing tonight and find you a very, very nice girl." Hakkai promised solemnly.

"…Promise?" Gojyo asked sullenly.

"Promise."

Gojyo's nose twitched but he sighed in agreement. Hakkai would've squealed if it wouldn't make him seem completely gay…then again, he had agreed to share a house with seven guys for ten weeks…if that wasn't gay then he didn't know what was.

"Let's go meet our roommates." Hakkai simply exuded cheer and practically pranced over to Kougaiji who was standing very close to Dokugakuji. Hakkai waved and Kou glared.

"How the fuck did I end up on this show!" The tanned demon snarled. "And why is he here!" he pointed to Nii who giggled.

"Oh, I thought you were friends," Hakkai shrugged innocently.

"Friends? Friends with a psychotic doctor who…does stuff with a rabbit plushie!" Kou's eyes were wide and slightly wild. "He's crazy!"

"I resent that!" Nii said in a high pitched voice, using his bunny as a marionette. The other roommates, aside from Homura who was still smiling blankly at Nii, twitched and looked at Nii as if he had lobsters crawling out of his ears.

"Um…Hi Homura," Hakkai greeted brightly, turning his back to Nii. "I haven't seen you we graduated from college!"

"…still hanging out with those losers." Homura growled, gesturing to Sanzo and Gojyo.

"Still a bastard?" Gojyo retorted dryly.

"Still a gay skirt chaser."

"I'm not gay!"

"Not gay my ass! You're the gayest guy I've ever met!" Homura snarled.

From a distance the gaggle brothers were watching the dynamics within the group and the twins shared a grin. "This season of the Real World, would go very well indeed."

A/N: Okay well review and tell me what you think and if you want more. Please and Thank you!


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